Sunday, October 7, 2007

a pumpkin and a punch

So our annual Halloween Party at our neighbors was last night. It was filled with lots of fun treats and a few tears at the end from a couple of tired party goers(mine).

What do you do when one of the party goers and their siblings spend their time at the party hitting, kicking, and calling others stupid head? Well, ignore it I thought. But I'm not perfect. So.... at the very end one of "those siblings" punched my daughter in the side.Now I normally consider myself pretty good at self control. But at that moment I guess the mama bear came out. When I was told what happened by my daughter and the a witness said yes, she looked right at her and socked her. I Yelled " Why did you punch her?" She said I didn't. So then I looked at the party hostess and said who does she belong to? The little girl responded "my mommy". We laughed. But inside there was a tinge of she is a child... with a heart.... But still this can't go unacknowledged by her parents at least. So I told my daughter to tell her father. When she approached the girls father to tell him... he walked away not listening to my daughter at all and pulled his daughter aside. The rest of the time we were there it was unfriendly looks from the father and mother of "the siblings".

So the question: What should I have done? Was it wrong to tell my daughter to turn in the little mike Tyson in training?

8 comments:

Jessica Chapman said...

Are you kidding me?! Wow. That's a new one. Most parents would be apologetic and embarrassed... not the way hese bozos acted at all to say the least! ;)

Bethany Hissong said...

I would have done what you did. Now just imagine if it's family... I have some nieces who would do the worst things to my kids and my own sister would take offense!!

artgirlATL said...

Thanks guys at least I'm not nuts.
Bethany,
Yeh... you're own sister. If my kids do something(they are not perfect and occasionaly do) I make them take responsibility and say they are sorry. Although my poor oldest tends to be the one things are done to. She's a tender hearted one like myself.

Bethany Hissong said...

I can tell you're a good mom... I think these things happen to everyone at some point. I think now that I read it again, that the parents never do anything and therefore their kids DO hit! I always think that those kids will just have a tough time as an adult if they never suffer any consequences for their mistakes and mistreatment of others now. (I have another whole story I could tell you about this exact thing-- my son's friend's older brother decided to go after both of them... I was the first adult to come upon the younger one with his face covered in blood and my son crying with bruises. I decided to say something myself and the mother defended the teenager!!! We are no longer friends...for my son's safety.

artgirlATL said...

I agree with your decision to break that friendship. You're right that part of being a good parent is teaching a child social skills and explaining that in school and work... and well the real world, that that type of behavior has harsh penalties.

Laura Leigh Dobson said...

i just found your blog. . . i love it and will be back. :)

Willow said...

My mama bear would have been out prowling too! Children should be taught not to hit. Parents sometimes deny to themselves that their little darlings could ever do wrong. That is a disservice to the child. As a Kindergarten teacher, I did have a couple of thoughts: was the parent embarrased because he didn't know how to handle the situation so he chose to let it be until they got home? Some parents won't punish their children in public. There is the possibility that the 'hitter' has developmental issues (Asperger's comes to mind) and the parent just is tired out from constantly being on 'duty' to make sure the child behaves. These are in no way excuses for the child's or parent's behavior, they are just possibilities. You were there, you are a good judge of the situation. In the future, your child can choose to not play with the 'hitters'. The best thing now to do is use this as a learning experience for your daugthers, ie, What can you do next time to solve this problem?

artgirlATL said...

Gosh Willow,
I never thought of those possibilities. I guess maybe the looks I was receiving from them could have been something other than anger. Maybe they were envious how good my girls were being that night. By no means are they perfectly behaved at all times. But they were being very good that night, and rarely hit. My hubby on the other hand coming from a family with a strong military background told her next time hit back to defend yourself. I have a sneeking suspicion it's out of fear of her being run over in her life if she doesn't standup for herself.